August 22, 2011

I have 30 days left of college.

What Mandy Thinks: "College" post
Incoming cliche's:  I can't believe I'm already almost done, it's bittersweet finding myself here, I'm gonna miss college because it's been the best years of my life, I'm excited for the future, I've really learned a lot, etc, etc, blah blah blah.

Everybody thinks I'm ready, I've been ready for a while now, and I'll be fine once portfolio show is over and the real world begins.  But the more it's said, the less ready I feel.  It's like I have a standard for myself that everybody else gets that I have, but I don't feel has been matched yet.  I've been going through everything I want and need for my portfolio website, media kit, print book, giveaways, and booth setup, and it keeps trying to overwhelm me.  "No matter how perfect I want it to be, it will never be perfect," I tell myself knowing everything will be fine.  I'm either not overwhelmed yet because I've desensitized myself over the years from over-anxiety, or I've been overwhelmed for a while now and just haven't had something go wrong yet to bring that anxiety out.

Regardless, I just want these 30 days to go by very... very... slowly.  I had a chance to graduate a quarter early (*cough* ON TIME *cough*), but that realization felt like going 120 miles an hour down to 0 in an instant.  After lots of tears at the financial aid office, three weeks of a break, and this extra stressful six weeks of an extra quarter to prepare, I feel I'm way more prepared and set for the portfolio show than ever.  And adding this extra quarter has me sharing my graduation with some of my best friends from school and sharing the same ceremony with them.  High school was 4 years, college was 3 yet college has seemed twice as long for how much I've changed and grown as a person.  I finally get to be the "grown-up" I've always wanted to be, living in a place I've falling in love with, surrounded with friends that will hopefully last a lifetime, and this sentence is full of cliche's so I'll just leave it at that.  I still have a lot to do so I'd better stop blogging and continue creating.  After all, I only have 30 days.

No comments:

Post a Comment

follow mandy